Sunday, January 10, 2010

Fear.


I have had a pretty easy going life. I don't struggle very much to feed my self, although I do eat Ramen noodles a bit to much, but for me to get through my day and pay my bills, its pretty easy. I find that because I have been extremely fortunate to have the fundamentals of life (food, shelter, health) I feel as though I MUST never waist time. There seems to always be in the back of my head a little voice telling me that there are people literally sleeping in mud and scrounging for food every day. My fear is that I am wasting the opportunities that are given to me. My fear is that if I don't do something with my life that when I get old and there is one last breath for me to take, that I take it with relaxation and a sense of accomplishment.

Why do I put so much pressure on myself to succeed? Because if I fail then I have wasted everything.

Those two sentences are extremely dramatic. I am not asking for any consoling I am just confused by all the pressure I put on my self. I just need to be cool with my actions and know that I am not trying to take advantage of anybody. I am trying to do something that I am passionate about and that I think will influence people in someway to have them think about their life from a different angle. From my 23 years of experience in this life I feel as though there is allot that I will never learn but that's ok because I have learned allot and will continue to learn everyday.

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