Friday, February 27, 2009

Emotional Biking and My 100 Mile Goal

Day 17 – 2/22/09

Having a semi long-term goal has really helped me organize my life and stay motivated to continue to do more. This bike ride has given me the focus that I need to keep from wallowing in my own sadness and misery…(dramatic I know).

On Sunday I woke up early in the morning feeling a bit down. Not about anything in specific, just not a chipper as I have been lately. I think I was worrying about financial things (which I do way to much, which I shouldn’t do) anyways… I get out of bed thinking to myself that I really don’t want to put on all my cloths, the many layers of sweatshirts and pants to go ride around Brookline. So I sat there in bed with the sheets half on me and half on the floor, my hair doing its thing, going in every direction, and I took some deep breaths. I don’t like suppressing my feelings so I was trying to just not let them overwhelm me. After a couple breaths I put my head in my hands and thought about what getting on the bike means to me. The Big Picture: Training for my trip across country, it is exercise (which is always good), and it’s a constant challenge that I hope to concur. The Small Picture: It will help me work with my emotions, it will wake me up, and it will push me over 100 miles worth of training (which is the goal that I set for today)! After that little check in I stood up, started putting on my cloths, grabbed my bike and headed out.

The trip was short, just to the JP ponds and back. I really only needed 6.02 miles to get to 100 so I figured that would be good enough. While I was peddling I found my self being very aggressive with the bike, taking my turns sharper, every stroke of the peddle was a bit more defined rather than the constant smooth circle that it usually was. The emotions that I had inside were coming out through my technique. This didn’t bother me; it just was a different experience than what I am used to. Once I got to the JP loop I was bolting around the path, passing people left and right jumping over tree roots and sidewalk imperfections. As I was coming around the pond for a second time this couple and their kid started shouting at me, “This isn’t the bike path!, This is NOT the bike path!” They were frustrated with me; I could hear it in their voices. I felt a surge of anger which was pushing me to just say “screw it” and keep on riding but I knew that that was not what I wanted to do, so I slowed down, turned around (which I don’t think they were expecting) and asked them where the bike path was. After a second of their astonishment that I cared where I was biking they pointed about 20 feet away at another path. I said thank you and headed to the bike path. This incident for some reason cleansed me of my frustrations and anger and sadness. I got on the bike path and my feet were rotating the wheels in a constant motion and I was paying attention to everything all-around me instead of just the immediate 10 feet. Being forced to look at my actions strait in the face and say “I don’t like what they do to me”, gave me the control to focus and enjoy the rest of the ride.

After the trip I worked at Eureka for a couple of hours and then had my Oscar party. The Oscars were fantastic and Slumdog millionaire as I and the rest of the world predicted swept the academy. Some very close friends were there and some new people that I now consider friends were there and I was happy. I had achieved my goal of 100 miles (103.68 to be exact) and I was with good people and good entertainment (go Hugh Jackman sing that song!). Paying attention to the bigger picture, the bigger goal of my bike ride and documentary allows me to stay focused and attentive to the life that is happening around me at this moment. Because after all this trip is for me to reconnect with my country, my family, and my self, and I cant do that if I am only looking 10 feet ahead.


TOTAL TIME TRAINING: 14 hrs 10 min

1 comment:

  1. whoa, hey now. i didn't know all that happened before the oscar party. i only knew that you had surpassed the 100 mile goal. well, i am glad you were able to work out some emotion via cycling. that is definitely a healthy way to do it ;]